The Hug Phenomenon
The hug. So innocent, yet such a hotly
debatable topic.
So many touchpoints (pun intended) in a hug.
For example, there are the types of hugs, the length of a hug, the reaction to
a hug – both before and after, and the digital hug. Plus, the psychology behind
it. WOW, as my Peruvian friend would say.
Do you like to give, or receive the hug? Some
people are ok with receiving a hug, but can be uncomfortable initiating.
Do you like a firm hug or a soft hug? Are you the pat-on-the-back person in a hug
relationship, or do you like a light, arm around the back moment – similar to
the soft handshake, yet another personal preference. Someone once scored our
hugs on the hug-o-meter, and it was a hotly contested space for a few days,
where each of us tried to out-hug the other with the firmest hold we could
give.
What about people’s reaction to the hug? That
moment when you initiate and there is a slight withdrawal? Our advice – keep going.
You can turn it into a sideways semi-hug to keep the momentum but downplay the
physical interaction. The flipside is the eternal hug – the one where they just
won’t let go. You have resorted to slowly patting the back at regular intervals
(and they get firmer with each one) – but they just won’t let you go!! There is
only one thing you can do at this point. Go with it. Lean into it, and
surrender to the moment. It is what it is.
Digital hugs are now a thing! Can’t be there in
person? Send a digital hug. But be careful not to let this replace the real
thing – touch is so important on many levels.
We haven’t even talked about the other person
in the relationship yet – the receiver! It takes 2 baby! Push past how you feel
about the hug, and think about the other person. How are they feeling? What is
happening for them? What impact are you making through this physical and
emotional transaction? You’ve heard the saying – I just need a hug.
Instinctively, we know when touch is really needed for soothing, and how much
better you feel once you’ve received a hug.
Group hugs! No explanation needed – just dive
into the awkwardness!
How about the emotional rainbow of the hug
phenomenon?! I’m just going to throw a few things out there that I think are
represented in a hug – joy, happiness, friendship, love, sadness, empathy,
wisdom, strength, congratulations, fun, laughter, sharing, quiet. That’s just a
few, but shows the gamut of emotions involved from this one moment in time.
Ultimately, it shows people that you care.
Did you know that there is a health benefit for
embracing the hug? Hugging increases levels of the "love
hormone" oxytocin. A 20-second hug, along with 10 minutes of
hand-holding, also reduces the harmful physical effects of stress, including
its impact on your blood pressure and heart rate. Heal yourself with a hug!
How about touch? We all know it’s important - from
a warm handshake or sympathetic hug to a congratulatory pat on the
back, we have developed complex languages, cultures, and
emotional expression through physical contact. But in a tech busy world,
non-sexual human touch is in danger of becoming rare, if not obsolete. Even
with the benefits that come along with a digital lifestyle, we need to keep on
having physical interactions.
So – our take on hugs? Just go for it. You’ll
be healthier and happier. And even if it’s uncomfortable for you, think about
the moment of strength and peace you are giving away. What an amazing thing to
do – so generous.
Go forth and hug! #happyhugday #comeandgetit
Comments
Post a Comment